Real Food Summit: Are You In?

Have you been listening to Underground Wellness’s Real Food Summit?

It’s not strictly Paleo, but here’s the thing: a lot of us Real Food eaters are on the same side. My sister-in-law is vegan and I’m Paleo, but it isn’t me vs. her. We both want better health and more ethical treatment of animals; we simply find our answers in different ways.

So if you’re interested in Real Food, I would highly highly *highly* recommend tuning in.

The details are all on the site, but the basics are:

• 9 days
• 3 presentations per day
• Presentations are available for 24 hours only–midnight to midnight PST
• Free during the initial viewing period, then sold in a package after the summit

And lucky for us, the first two days’ presentations have been extended until tomorrow (Wednesday) at noon PST. The presentation outline is available with the speakers’ presentations, but I’ll even give you a little preview of what were personal highlights:

Day 1 Presentations (<– link)

Joel Salatin. You may recognize him as the incredibly articulate farmer from Food, Inc.

Joel Salatin, Farmer.
Real Food Defined.
Food for Thought: Powerfully exhibits how we can break our addiction to the supermarket. Teaches how an ethical farm functions and the way animals, humans, and Mother Nature work together. Discusses sustainability and whether or not Real Food can feed the world (spoiler: it can!).

Chris Kresser, Integrative Health Practitioner.
The Role of Fish and Seafood in the Real Diet
Food for Thought: The vitamins and minerals present in fish and why mercury is not always as big of an issue as we may believe

David Getoff, Traditional Naturopath and Board-Certified Nutritionist
The Historical Truth About Raw Fruit Consumption…and the Best and Worst Sweeteners
Food for Thought: Caused me to examine the quantity of my son’s fruit intake in relation to his body size. Powerful stuff.

Day 2 Presentations (<– link)

Paul Chek

Paul Chek, Founder of C.H.E.K. Institute
Eating Whole Foods for Body, Mind, and Soul
Food for Thought: The soil is connected to our soul. We can eat less food if what we’re eating is more nutrient-dense. Fixing our physical health can really help our emotional health.

Jeffrey Smith, Author of Seeds of Deception
Genetically Modified Foods: What People Want to Know
Food for Thought: Answers basic questions about GMOs. A little sensationalist for my taste, but good information all the same.

Sarah Pope, Blogger at The Healthy Home Economist
The Bountiful Benefits of Bone Broth
Food for Thought: How to make bone broth and know you’ve made it right

Day 3 Presentations (<– link)

These presentations end at midnight so hop to it

Chris Masterjohn

Chris Masterjohn, Blogger and Doctoral Candidate
Weston A. Price on Primitive Wisdom (part 1 of 2)
Food for Thought: Gives me an entirely unexplored and deep love for Weston A. Price’s work and his credibility as a renowned researcher. I thought I loved him before, but I respect him so much more now. Also, Masterjohn sort of sounds like Matthew Broderick, so when I was listening, I was picturing Despereaux teaching me all about Dr. Price.

Mira and Jayson Calton, Authors of Naked Calories
Micronutrient Deficiency: The Missining Link in the Fight Against Obesity?
Food for Thought: (Still listening)

Aaron Lucich, Film Producer and Director
We Are What We Eat: How What We Eat Affects Everything Within and Around Us
Food for Thought: (Still listening)

Enjoy the Summit! I’d love to hear your thoughts, too.

What Doing 570 Push-ups Has Taught Me So Far

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I don’t talk much about exercise on this blog because, shhhhh {furtive glance}, I don’t really like it.

BUT…I do like being insulin-sensitive and not insulin-resistant. So exercise, I must.

To commemorate my 30th birthday, I decided to do 900 push-ups. For 30 days before I turn 30, I am doing 30 push-ups each day. I’m at 570 and the lessons are abundant.

1. Practice does indeed work. I could do 2 push-ups before I started and my form was horrific. After building more strength, I can now do 5 with very pretty form (and I suspect at least 20 if I was still doing them the way I started). I’m hoping to hit 10 by my birthday.
2. I don’t have to be sore to get stronger. I’m essentially doing a Grease the Groove program and my favorite thing is getting stronger without getting sore. Some people love that hurts-so-good feeling after a workout, but my pain threshold is about -8.
3. I like skill work. Getting strict push-ups under my belt makes me want to perfect my double-unders too. They are both coming along nicely. Met-cons, on the other hand, hold less appeal than ever.
4. Sleep matters. I can hardly get enough depth on one push-up when I don’t get at least 8 hours of sleep. My body moves inefficiently and even the simplest movements are an impossible feat.
5. I need to reassess my goals. I always thought my ultimate goal was to be fit. In reality, I want to want it (probably because I think it’s the right thing to want), but there’s something else motivating me. I just don’t know what. I suspect it has something to do with natural movement opportunities and nothing to do with gym time.

I am enjoying this little experiment and may continue it with other skills once my push-ups are over. On the radar: pull-up, OH squat, deadlift, clean, and Turkish getup.

What is your workout routine? Any tips for a fledgling exerciser like myself?

A Week’s Worth of Produce for the Paleo Family

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I’m back. Finally. I’m in the throes of final exams, final projects, and a new (full-time) job where I have a leadership position. Hopefully I can get back on this here old blog for a few posts. And if you have emailed me in the past couple of weeks, I’m starting on those tomorrow.

In the meantime, we are still eating Paleo and I thought I’d give you a little peak into my kitchen.

We eat a lot of produce in our home. I’m not very good at knowing how much money we spend or how many hours we cook, but I took a moment to write down every fresh vegetable and fruit we ate for a week. Here are the results of one nursing mom, one CrossFitting husband, one hungry 3yo and one 1yo who doesn’t eat very much produce at all in order to protect her gut:

• 8 lbs carrots
• 1/2 bag snap peas
• 2 red peppers
• 4 oz fresh basil
• 2 heads cabbage
• 1 bunch asparagus
• 2 heads cauliflower
• 2 cucumbers
• 1 head red leaf lettuce
• 5 bunches broccoli
• 6 zucchini
• 8 avocados
• 1 butternut squash

There you have it. This list doesn’t include any fruit because we aren’t eating much of it lately. My baby can’t have it, so we try not to make her too jealous. It also doesn’t count pickles, coconut products (flakes, butter, milk, etc.), olives, raisins, or canned green beans, but gives a pretty accurate count of how much produce we typically eat.

How does this compare to you? Are you eating way more, way less, or does this look about right?

Becoming What I Deeply Am

"Education should help man become the best he is capable of becoming, to become actually what he deeply is potentially." --Abraham Maslow in Religion, Values, and Peak Experiences.

The physical benefits of Paleo are well-lauded on this blog. There’s no question that Paleo is the reason my family enjoys better health and it’s worth every two-hour vegetable chopping session, despite my occasional murmuring.

But the real reason I live a Paleo lifestyle and feel it is crucial for my children lies in Maslow’s statement: to become actually what I deeply am potentially.

In the throes of PCOS and infertility (me), autism and therapy (my son), and the possibility of Crohn’s/ulcerative colitis (my baby), my physical trials blinded me. They were all-consuming. Constant survival mode. To imagine my greatest potential or any future at all was futile, because frankly, I didn’t know if I would reach tomorrow. The days were long, the nights were filled with crying babies and a crying mother, and every day was a new day…of just getting by.

With PCOS, the apex of my potential was Not Getting Sicker. Not exactly the childhood dreams of becoming the first woman president. But I couldn’t aspire to anything else; I was drowning in insulin resistance and weight retention and autoimmunity. Someone who is trapped underwater can only hope for air; anything more is irrelevant, and I needed air.

Paleo allowed me to emerge from the murky depths, eventually treading water, and finally leaving the sea of despair altogether. The cataracts obscuring my visions have been removed. I can look at the world with fresh eyes for the first time, seeing the opportunities for what they really are.

I have greater hope because I am no longer destined to a life of female cancers. My son can spend Wednesdays at playgroup instead of occupational/speech therapy. My daughter is still recovering and I can envision a life for her that is not defined solely by bowel distress.

There were more moments of happiness than sadness in my life prior to Paleo; that is my nature. But becoming more than a woman with PCOS wasn’t part of my joy.

Now that PCOS is behind me, there is a clarity about who I am that was never there before. I had glimpses of it my entire life, but I can finally embrace it and actually be who I deeply am inside. My children can, too. And that’s the real reason I eat Paleo.

Insights Into The Whole30 Gone Bad

How many blocks are in this stalk of celery?

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Before finding Paleo, I tried to Zone. I read Barry Sears’ book and responded to the information on insulin resistance. My husband printed out the Meal Plans Blocks Chart from the CrossFit Journal and we were all in.

After exactly three days, I quit.

Physically, I had the shakes, I was hungry, and I was exhausted.

Mentally, my head was spinning because this constant focus on macronutrients was new and a little annoying. I couldn’t figure out the exact right amount of blocks to eat and I didn’t know how to accurately assess my physical activity.

Emotionally, I was a mess. I was yelling at my son for messing up my blocks when he tried to grab a carrot off my plate. I weighed and measured everything precisely; he wasn’t going to screw it up. I was totally consumed by my perverted view of the Zone’s proper implementation. I had “complete control” over my food and I was determined to do it “right.” After 72 short hours, I dangerously close to reverting back to my eating disorder days.

I told my husband I was quitting immediately. I already felt myself going back to the old me, the one that would hide in the closet with a celery stalk, the one who felt guilty for eating so much, the one I hated so much.

I sort of felt like a loser. Lots of people could Zone, why not me? But I was also relieved. Given my history and obsession with “dieting perfectly,” the Zone was all wrong for me. For once in my life, I listened to my body.

Should I Quit Paleo?

Whole9's Insight into The Whole30 Gone Bad

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I wrote recently about Paleo being my version of a nutrient-dense eating disorder. These are murky waters that I’ve been navigating solo, feeling like there is limited support in a community of perfect eaters. Today, Whole9 brilliantly posted about what to do when healthy eating becomes unhealthy in The Whole30 Gone Bad.

I loved every piece of that article. For some time now, it’s been difficult for me to read anyone but Mark Sisson (who is a huge proponent of the 80/20 rule). It seemed like every other Paleo blogger (myself included) was touting Paleo as the only healthy way to eat. All ailments could be attributed to poor nutrition, so if my nutrition wasn’t spot on, it was all my fault. I’d received my just desserts. I don’t feel this way anymore (and consequently, I’m a lot more open to other nutrition plans), but it’s taken a lot of conscious effort to subdue that part of my personality and embark on a healing process.

This article is part of that healing process. After supplying a quiz to see if an eating intervention is necessary and providing a 5-step plan, Whole9 encourages each person to do what’s right for them: “The Whole30 program can be a valuable tool in your health and fitness arsenal, but it’s not for everyone.”

That simple statement makes me feel human and reminds me that they are human too. My experience has been normalized and it turns out that, perhaps, not all Paleo Rock Stars are robots.

So if your Paleo lifestyle has become a hot mess, I’d encourage you to check out the article and comments; you won’t find any PaleoBots there. We’re all human, and as it turns out, that’s okay.

Forget a Whole30, I’d settle for a Whole1

(I am shelving the binge eating series for a while. I’ve written and re-written the next post 8 times, but it’s still not feeling right. Perhaps I’m not quite ready to continue the public address. Emotional problems are a bummer sometimes. Sigh.)

I write a short letter to my children nearly every day. For a few months, I didn’t miss a single day. I had no goal, just a simple commitment that “Today I will write in my kids’ journals.”

When I finally missed a day, I convinced myself I could make it up. I never did, and I stopped journaling for two months because I was overwhelmed by how much self-imposed work I had to do.

This all-or-nothing scenario plays out a lot in my life, and eating (clean) is no exception.

My WholeNothings

Whole9 Foundations Workshop January 2011 with Dallas and Melissa (then-Urban) Hartwig (I have a history of awkwardness with blogebrities, which explains the arm placement.)

About a year ago, I was honored to be a featured Whole30 success story. I completed the Whole30 twice with excellent results and did a third one in March.

Since then, I’ve taken a page out of Walter Mondale’s book and lost the fire in my belly, replacing it with grains, sugar, and all manner of poisons. The program hasn’t changed its awesomeness and I’m still Paleo, but the 30-days-in-a-row-no-exceptions eludes me. I’ve started a new Whole30 at least 30 times, most lasting 1 day. January’s attempt made it to the 19th before my anxiety convinced me chips and salsa would fix my problems (spoiler: it didn’t).

My WholeFourMonths

Now I have a WholeFourMonthsPossiblyLonger staring me in the face. My baby is sick and her treatment would be optimal (but not necessary) with pure breast milk.

I’m told eating clean for 30 days isn’t as hard as quitting heroin or beating cancer, and I believe that. When I had the Big Bad PCOS Enemy to beat, the Whole30 was easy-peasy-puddin’-pie. Now that I’m out of survival mode and have a debilitating disease behind me, the motivation simply isn’t there. Perhaps there’s something to this stress junkie business.

Living in the Present

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I’ve come to the recent realization that there is a very fine line between planning things to better live your life and living your life to better plan. I cross that line often, and forget to live in the present.

So when I make a commitment to a Whole30, I forget that yes, I have a 30-day goal, but it’s not Day 30 that matters. It’s Day Today.

If I think about how I should eat Whole30-clean for four months until I get test results back for my babe, I am overwhelmed and run straight for the coconut milk ice-cream, Junior Mints, and lotus rice. If I remind myself, “Today I am going to eat clean,” the challenge isn’t so formidable.

I’m on my fourth Whole1 today. No guilt, no shame, no remorse, and no expectations of perfection. It feels good.

Hirsutism: The Big Hairy Truth

One of the most frequently emailed questions I receive: How soon did your PCOS symptoms begin to disappear after going Paleo?

Everyone seems to want to know about the weight loss, the fatigue, the skin tags, the infertility, the amenhorrhea, the male-pattern baldness. But by far, the most inquiries are about hirsutism.

So I thought I’d lay it all on the line for you. You’re welcome.

Naturally, this isn’t my favorite topic to address publicly. Despite an overall healthy self-confidence, excessive hair growth is insanely embarrassing for me. There is nothing that makes me feel less feminine and less vibrant, sexy, or strong. If you get squeamish or grossed out about women with body and facial hair, I urge you to stop reading NOW

.

No, seriously. Turn away. This is not for the faint of heart.

Okay…don’t say I didn’t warn ya.

Scoring Hirsutism

First off, when determining a PCOS diagnosis, there needs to be evidence of elevated male hormone (testosterone), either visually or through blood tests. When assessing visually, medical doctors typically use the Ferriman-Gallwey score:

 

Source: women-health-info.com

For a second chart, visit ccjm.org.

My Own Case of Hirsutism

Being of Asian/Pacific Islander descent, my heritage precludes me from having excessive hair to begin with. And my father’s side (white) doesn’t seem to be too hairy either. So genetics appear to be in my favor for minimal hair growth, something I’ve never stopped being grateful for.

When I started Paleo in August of 2010, I had no expectations of improved health. I was just desperate for something to stall the weight gain. I had a 2-month-old baby and was on the extended breastfeeding plan (if she would nurse). As evidenced by my first child, I gain weight while nursing, so the thought of 18+ months of weight gain when I was already close to 200 pounds contributed greatly to my postpartum depression.

I wasn’t looking for my hirsutism to disappear and had no reason to believe it would. About 5 months in, I looked down at my belly and noticed the light “trail” that started from between my breasts, circled around my belly button, and continued it’s merry way downward….vanished. Where was it?

I started checking all the usual spots that remind me of my fallibility. Jawline, sideburns, breasts, corners of my lips, bottom of my chin, toes. If there was anything remaining, it was so faint it could hardly be constituted even as peach fuzz.

I don’t know when the hair fell away. One day, it was gone.

Hirsutism, 17 months post-Paleo

In general, my score is about a 1 now. As mentioned in my I no longer have PCOS post, when I stray for a few weeks from Paleo, the hair begins a gradual return (mostly on my belly and breasts) and I know it’s time to get back to eating right. As I’m sure you can imagine, that is a very compelling reason to back off the grains and sugar.

So there you have it. A Hirsutism Fairy Tale. It’s not an easy one to share, feeling a lot more like Grimm than Disney, but inquiring minds want to know and I have a habit of sharing way too much.

Paleo: A Nutrient-Dense Eating Disorder?

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I love Paleo. I don’t think that’s any surprise to someone who’s been following this blog. Our family has spectacular, tangible results: I overcame PCOS, my son’s ASD symptoms reduced dramatically, my husband started running faster, and my baby stopped crying non-stop.

What I haven’t been as forthcoming about are the emotional struggles intertwined with my successes. I’ve mentioned them lightly in the comments or in matter-of-fact ways on several posts, but I’ve skirted around allowing myself to be genuinely vulnerable—to myself, to my family, to anyone.

I have a long history of using food to grasp control of my life. Through overeating, undereating, counting calories, weighing and measuring, not caring, making year-long food resolutions. It doesn’t matter. I could take anything healthy and manipulate it into something where I had an illusion of control.

Paleo–in all its nutritious glory–is no different, except that the strict nature and potential for social isolation exacerbated my dysfunctional relationship. Because it works so well for me, the pendulum swings from both ends swiftly—complete joy over my progress to complete shame for not following through. The best physical results coupled with some of my worst emotional results.

Food Schizophrenia

Image by Alissa Empey

My Paleo wears many hats; I give it different personalities and roles that are sometimes healthy, usually not. At times, it is the perfect diet. During others, I hand over complete control—to a non-human, non-thinking, non-judgmental way of eating.

I abuse myself by believing that Paleo is anything more than that. It has no feelings and surely isn’t paying attention to when I eat a cookie (or twelve). It doesn’t redeem me from my health sins and is not invested in the outcome of my life. It’s food. And it’s just there.

I’m working hard on this area of my life and I’d like to believe I’m completely over these problems. I’m not. Even just writing them down, I realize how deep they run. In the next post I will share some of the personalities I’ve given to food, with follow-up posts addressing how I am healing myself from binge eating.

This is a difficult topic to speak of publicly, but I’m thrilled to share this journey with you and invite you to be vulnerable with me. Please feel free to ask questions, share experiences, and heal together. See you Thursday.

Oh yes, and Happy New Year. 2012 is going to be a good one.

Farewell to PCOS: What an UNdiagnosis Really Means

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As noted in my last post, my doctor cleared me of PCOS. After blood tests and an ultrasound, I didn’t meet any of the three requirements.

It’s safe to say this was the best news I received in 2011.

When I first learned that my PCOS was no longer an official diagnosis, I went through some sort of strange near-grieving period. PCOS has been with me for so long–such an integral part of my identity–that my heart and mind were a jumbled mix of feelings and confusion.

Elated, absolutely. Thrilled. Delighted. Relieved. Overjoyed.

And also a bit empty. My mission was gone. The fight I’d been fighting so fervently, working just to manage and cope with the symptoms of this dang disease, was over. In a matter of seconds, unexpected news from my doctor opened a new world of non-PCOS thoughts.

I had flashes of what do I do now? Who am I?

And then I began to reflect: I wasn’t fighting as fervently, I wasn’t trying to get by, I was no longer in a state of constant efforting. For 5 years, I’d been so focused on the fact that I have PCOS and therefore must suffer that I failed to recognize my symptoms had indeed vanished. The blood tests were just confirming what I realized long ago: Paleo works for me.

I’m over the emptiness now. I am the same person with one less label. Losing my diagnosis doesn’t change what I do daily; only what I write on my insurance forms. And it adds yet another weapon in my Paleo arsenal.

Truly, I couldn’t be happier that Paleo worked for my body to reverse PCOS.

Am I cured?

That remains to be seen, but I imagine the answer is no. I don’t have symptoms, my blood work is clean, and my ovaries have so few cysts that I can hardly be called polycystic.

However, I still have the scars from metabolic derangement. I’m incredibly sugar-sensitive. If I merely entertain the idea of grains, I swear I gain weight (and my husband swears I do, too). When I eat poorly, my PCOS symptoms come back. When I eat poorly for several days, my PCOS symptoms come back with a vengeance, as if making up for lost time.

Diagnosis removal is a fantastic ego boost, but there isn’t any difference in my daily routine. I still identify deeply with the PCOS community and I still eat Paleo. My guess is I would go right back to PCOS if I return to my daily bowl of mac and cheese. I doubt I can ever remove the treatment (proper nutrition), but I can live a perfectly full life without being hindered by the side effects of PCOS. That’s what matters, right?

(Though I would be lying if I said I wasn’t holding on to the hope that I may one day eat nightshades again. Fingers crossed.)

I’m in a good place. No longer an emotional slave to a diagnosis AND I have a built-in accountability system that keeps me healthier because of my PCOS history.  The best of both worlds.

Paleo, you treat me real good. Thanks for a great 2011.

A Farewell to PCOS

No risk shooting the messenger during this visit

Routine well-woman visits are not very fun.

Imagine my surprise when I walked out of my doctor’s office with an uncontrollable smile on my face. Giddy beyond belief. Wanting to call all of my friends and family. Greeting strangers with overly enthusiastic salutations and even stopping to make friends with the lady in the hallway who traveled all the way from Waller to see the doctor because he was “the best OB/GYN this side of the Mississippi.”

Prior to my appointment, I’d requested blood work. My periods hadn’t resumed after the birth of my babe (10-months-old at the time). I was still nursing 4-5 times per day, but given my PCOS history, I wanted to play it safe and requested every single blood test I could think of. And my doctor, being the brilliant man that he is, requested about twice as many to add to the phlebotomist’s task list.

It was such a surreal appointment that I wrote a little one-act play to depict the events.

A Farewell to PCOS

Scene: Jennifer waits patiently in room 4. Infant rips paper on exam bed.

Dr. E: (opens door and enters room)

Jennifer: (looks up expectantly)

Dr. E: Well I’ve looked through your blood work and you don’t have PCOS anymore.

Jennifer: (smiling broadly and crying)

End scene.

I would quit Paleo if it weren’t *my* bare minimum

"Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason." --Jerry Seinfeld

That’s gotta be some sort of Paleo heresy.

I read countless blogs about how easy and manageable and fun Paleo is. Sure, there’s an element to that, and as I read these posts lauding the glories of Paleo (which I also write), it’s really simple for me to forget the hard logistics of the lifestyle.

Until I get into the kitchen.

Or the grocery store.

Or the play group for my two Littles.

Or pre-school. Or the family birthday parties. Or the social gatherings.

Paleo was my last resort. Like many people, I appreciate efficiency. I see no problem with doing the bare minimum to get max results. That should not be confused with laziness; I work hard (much of the time). If I can get a job done in 3 hours or in 5 hours, unless the company is good or I’m trying to teach my kids a lesson, I’m likely going to choose the 3-hour option.

I have several friends who maintain the health, energy, and vigor they desire by doing significantly less than our family requires. I’ve tried what they do and it doesn’t work for me. Perhaps my body isn’t as strong as theirs, perhaps I have different goals. The reasons are irrelevant to me since it doesn’t change the outcome.

USDA Food Guide. I did that. I gained weight. I got sick.
Vegetarianism. I did that. I gained weight. I got sick.
Calories In/Calories Out. I did that. I gained weight. I got sick.

Weight Watchers. Running. Aerobics/pilates/yoga. Exercising more. Eating less. Eating disorder. South Beach. Turbo Jam. I did those. I gained weight. I got sick.

In the fall fitness challenge, someone on our facebook page mentioned her husband lost 25 pounds. Whitney, the one with the rockin’ bod, cited a 12-pound loss.

I’ve been following most of the guidelines for a long time and the challenge wasn’t nearly as strict as my regular life. I loosened my Paleo standards a bit during those 8 weeks, falling well within the limits of the challenge. I gained 2 pounds. For me, taking candy out of my diet 6 days per week simply isn’t enough.

Paleo doesn’t bother me. On most days, I am fine knowing I have no in-town Paleo friends, no Paleo family, no Paleo restaurants, and few Paleo convenience foods.

I don’t love missing parties because I get tired of assuming people will be uncomfortable if I don’t eat (if I actually make them uncomfortable remains to be seen). Play group at McDonald’s would be more convenient if we didn’t have to bring our own lunch. Special cultural days at pre-school would be easier if the potluck section were gone, and therefore the gluten removed. But it’s not that way and that’s totally okay.

If I could maintain the body and health standards I want by eating low-fat dairy, whole grains, and juice (all part of the healthy, standard American diet), I would. But I tried that. I gained weight. I got sick.

Paleo? I’m doing that. I lost weight. I regained my health.

So Paleo it is. The choice is pretty clear for me. I still think a Paleo variation is the solution for a great majority of people seeking optimal health. But optimal health is subjective and not everyone is striving for my same brand of optimal health.

For me, optimal health means no more PCOS symptoms. No more chronic fatigue, body hair, acne, floaters, male-pattern baldness, depression, infertility…. Paleo or PCOS. Not everyone has to make that choice, but for me, this lifestyle is the bare minimum. If I could get by on less, I probably would.

Paleo is wonderful to me and makes me feel like a million bucks.

But it sure wasn’t my first choice.

Reflection: Eight Week Fitness Challenge

Fitness is a family affair. Looks like The Boy is ready for some higher box jumps.

Thanks to the brilliance of social media, college friend Whitney updated her status on facebook indicating the last night to sign up for the Fall Fitness Challenge was rapidly approaching. Every time I check Whitney’s blog, she has either had another beautiful baby or completed another major running event. And she has a pretty rockin’ bod, so my interest was piqued.

The rules:
Off-limits for 6 days every week: no dessert, no soda, no eating after 8 pm
To do for 6 days each week: study scriptures 15 minutes, complete the weekly challenge
For 5 days each week: 30 minutes of exercise

The weekly challenges:
1. Maintain a daily food log
2. Get 7+ hours of sleep each night
3. Eat 5 servings of vegetables daily
4. Drink 64 oz. of water
5. Complete 100 sit-ups and 50 push-ups each day
6. Eat 4 servings of fruit daily
7. Eat 5 small meals daily
8. Walk or run 13.1 miles throughout the course of the week (equivalent of half marathon) in addition to 30 minutes of daily exercise.

This seemed manageable so I signed up. And by manageable, I meant easy.

While this wasn’t the hardest thing I’ve ever done (ahem…natural childbirth), it certainly created a deeper self-awareness that I wasn’t anticipating. When I looked at the rules, there were certain areas that I thought would be a walk in the park while others would be more difficult. I was wrong on almost everything. Here’s the break down.

Daily stuff.

Initial Thought. Simple. I don’t do a lot of dessert, I haven’t taken a sip of soda since I was 16, and I meet with a group of women to do p90x at 5 am (3 times a week).

Reality. The scripture study was harder to prioritize, but I now do that at 6 while eating my post-workout meal. No eating after 8 was harder, even with the two-hour accommodation for nursing mothers. But the hardest part was the daily grind. I would finish at the eleventh hour, pleased with my accomplishment, only to realize I was starting all over again when I woke up.

Food log.
Initial thought. Easy-peasy and a good idea so I can dial in my nutrition.
Reality. I am past the stage of needing to write down what I eat and drink. I’m generally making good food choices and since I’m not a big believer in the calories in/calories out theory, the food log became a huge pain in the butt. If it had been included in the entire 8 weeks, I probably would have quit. However, when I am ready to make some serious progress in body composition/performance or work on a particular area of my health, I will keep a food log. Until then, it’s not a sustainable habit for me. Plus, I don’t want to look at fitday.com for a long time.

7 hours of sleep
Initial thought.  Terrified. My babe is not the best sleeper and I felt this challenge would be the one that made me lose since it felt entirely out of my control.
Reality. Awesome blossom. Forcing myself to go to bed earlier than the 7 required hours (because I didn’t know how long I would be up at night with the baby) was liberating. Things were left undone. I started simplifying my life. I rearranged my priorities. Only the most important stuff got done. I eliminated a lot of guilt for self-imposed projects that really weren’t that important to begin with. And I was well-rested. Rested Mama = Happy Mama

5+ servings of veggies per day
Initial thought. Easy.
Reality. Easy. Being a Paleoista who doesn’t like meat makes veggie consumption pretty commonplace.

64 oz. of water
Initial thought. Easy
Reality. HARD. What?! Why?! I’ve spent 29 years not slowing down to drink water so correcting that in a week was a pretty lofty goal. On the plus side, my perpetually chapped lips went away (apparently a sign of dehydration) and my kids started drinking a ton of water throughout the day with me. (Side note: if I were running the challenge, I probably would have changed the amount. Take body weight and divide by two. Drink that amount in fluid ounces. For me, 64 oz was about right, but someone who is 200 pounds needs more water than someone who is 110)

100 sit-ups and 50 push-ups
Initial thought. This will be fun.
Reality. It was fun. My husband and I raced on our sit-ups, discovering I can do 100 in a row without stopping (with room to spare). And the daily push-ups were a great jump start to getting better at true-form push-ups. I performed most of the 50 on my knees, but increased my regular push-ups. I can now go all the way down to my chest (rather than just halfway) and am knocking out 3-4 at a time. Push-ups were the very essence of impossible for me and now I’m hoping to get 10 by the end of the year.

4+ servings of fruit daily
Initial thought. I don’t know if I like this one….PCOS + lots of fruit = bad news.
Reality. Worse than I thought. I started resorting to olives and avocado as my fruit sources since all of that extra sugar reignited my sugar demons. Which fed well into the next challenge…

5 small meals daily
Initial thought. I can do this, but it’s going to be hard since I will be out of town at a training
Reality. I didn’t go out of town–sent my husband in my place. This challenge sort of screwed up the metabolism I’ve been working so hard to reset. Once the sugar addiction is gone, my body doesn’t need to eat every few hours. From the literature I’ve read recently, apparently that is evidence of being a sugar-burner rather than a fat-burner (and is not our body’s natural response if we are eating optimally). I don’t know anything about that. I just know for me, three meals a day is enough. But being the competitive being that I am, I soldiered through and my body took a hit for it. I can’t decide if I regret it or not since the learning experience was valuable.

Half marathon
Initial thought. This is going to be so rad!
Reality. Both kids were sick this week; fitting 13.1 miles in my spare time while the Littles needed extra mom efforts wasn’t ideal, particularly since I wasn’t comfortable taking them out into the freezing-booty-cold weather. I would actually like to complete this challenge again since it made me ask myself why I haven’t been walking more in the first place. My body feels better for it. The grocery store is only about 1.25 miles away, so I could load up the double stroller with my kids, meat, and veggies. The library isn’t far. Our church isn’t far. And importantly, Redbox is only a mile away. It’s invigorating to be outside and once we’re all on the mend, I am going to repeat this challenge to see if it’s a permanent change I’d like to make. I can see it definitely being a summer habit if nothing else.

Lessons Learned.
So what’s the take-away message for me? Quit thinking about food all the time, start drinking more water, walk to close places I might normally drive, and practice push-ups if I want to get better at them. Not a bad way to spend 8 weeks. Big thanks to Morgan for organizing the whole sh’bang.

CrossFit: Biggest Loser Style

So much to update–Baby’s first appointment with a naturopathic doctor (Tim Gerstmar), PCOS study, Thanksgiving, how we did Halloween, camping-Paleo style, etc….

And believe it or not, I actually wrote a legitimate post this morning that needs a good edit tomorrow. Until then, I had to share this clip of Bob Harper putting Jillian Michaels through a CrossFit-style WOD (workout of the day for you exercisers of a different manner).

I can’t seem to embed the video, so here’s the link:  The Biggest Loser’s Bob Harper’s CrossFit Challenge featured on The Doctors (November 17).

I only watched The Biggest Loser for one season (with Sam and Koli). I don’t know what it is about that show; while it’s incredibly inspiring and leaves me in tears of celebration and sorrow, I can’t seem to get through an episode without eating crap. There’s something very guilt-inducing about sitting in front of a weight loss show, hoovering a pint (or two) of So Delicious Coconut Milk ice-cream. Plus, it wasn’t doing much for my insulin resistance.

Despite my lack of self-control, I like what Jillian and Bob do for thousands of people. Jillian’s 30-Day Shred motivated me to perfect my squats so I could complete the workout without aching knees and Bob’s Weight Loss Yoga helped clear my mind and increase my flexibility. I appreciate those two.

One thing I really respect about the above clip is that Jillian did not rock the WOD like I was expecting. It kicked her butt.

It takes a lot of courage to go on TV and suck at something you are known to excel at*. I applaud her for it.

Even more, I love that this will likely bring more CrossFit-style workouts to the general public. I am not a CrossFit elitist (I don’t think it’s the right workout for everyone…gasp!), but there are a lot of really powerful concepts in it that deserve to reach the women who are trying their hardest, but not achieving any results because they’re sticking to chronic cardio. If Bob or Jillian put that in their next workout videos, everyone wins.

* I do not wish to imply I would have done better, because I would most assuredly not have performed well.

When Paleo Isn’t Enough

Paleo is just the beginning for this girl

Blogging has taken a backseat lately as I’ve been immersed in research. When I attended the Ancestral Health Symposium, one of the most eye-opening presentations was by Dr. BG and Dr. Tim Gerstmar regarding gut health.

If you haven’t seen it and are interested in some heavier science, give yourself 45 minutes to view The Rainforest in your Gut with the accompanying slide show. A major point was that while Paleo makes huge improvements and even heals a large population, for some people it just isn’t enough.

I am some people. So are my kids.

For me. The PCOS is in check, but I still know there are other aspects where I could use a little boost, particularly in the food sensitivity area. Every single item on the autoimmune protocol makes my stomach churn.

For my 3-year-old. My son is another case. Professionals cannot agree whether he is on the high-functioning side of the autism spectrum or is afflicted with a condition that often accompanies autism; regardless, he has symptoms that affect his everyday life. These symptoms reduced right around 75% with Paleo, but he was still having a lot of challenges with a variety of sensory issues. We started neurofeedback therapy in August and his symptoms are so much more manageable, I’ve been lauding neurofeedback ever since. And yet, we’re not quite there yet.

For my 16-month-old. And then there’s my baby, oh my sweet baby. She is allergic or sensitive to seemingly everything. If I eat dairy, soy, gluten, or corn, there is a range of responses from big time crying and the inability to sleep to rashes and eczema. As far as her own consumption, she has broken out in hives after eating eggs and nuts, and gotten consistent rashes from sweet potatoes, strawberries, and peaches. We maintain a strict Paleo diet for her, but she is still having some health problems.

Sounds a whole lot like leaky gut to me. I’ve been exploring the GAPS diet to start doing a gut-healing protocol since she sure appears to be suffering from leaky gut. But being allergic/intolerant to several items in the introduction diet poses an issue that requires a lot of research on Mommy’s part.

So that’s where we’re at right now. I heart Paleo. It has been a lifesaver and was the absolute right place for us to start. Now we are ready to expand. This journey is a long one. Posts, responses to comments, and emails will be sparse and I thank you already for your patience as I embark on a quest to have the best-looking intestines this side of the Mississippi.

I’m Not Skinny Like You

I was talking with a few women when the topic came to bodies, as it often does amongst women. One of the ladies was complaining about her weight. I wasn’t offering anything but a listening ear to the conversation when I was surprised to hear her say: “Not that you would understand. I’m not skinny like you.”

Rewind.

Since transitioning into a Paleo lifestyle a year ago, I have lived in 4 different homes. Each move required meeting new people and making new friends. While my body composition is rapidly changing, those who are meeting me for the first time have no idea the journey I’ve been on. This woman doesn’t know that I’ve lost 60 pounds in the past year.

Rather than explain how really, I actually do know what it’s like to be fat, her comment brought me face-to-face with my own body image issues.

In high school and my freshman year of college, I was teeny tiny. Skinny fat, yes, but still tiny. I had a 23″ waist and weighed right around 105 pounds (sometimes less). Being such a late bloomer, I still didn’t have hips and struggled to find size 0 jeans that weren’t too big. Goodness, I didn’t even need to wear a bra.

I didn’t really have much concept of how small I was. Because I didn’t stare at my reflection all day in the mirror, I kind of just assumed I was the same size as everyone else, despite being rather on the extra-extra-small side.  I remember hearing that the average woman was a size 10 and I was astonished. I was dissatisfied with my body, but I couldn’t even fathom wearing a size 10 or imagine all of these women around me wearing a 10 either (though they were probably in the 8-range).

During my second year of college, I was still shopping for size 0 jeans. I gained 24 pounds my freshman year, but somehow it always took me by surprise that I couldn’t squeeze into a size 0 (or size 1 for that matter). For the better part of 2 years, I was  putting the smaller jeans back and reaching for the 3s and 4s. I realized I was getting bigger, but only after several confusing trips to Abercrombie & Fitch.

Fast forward 8 years. I weighed 197 pounds when I checked into the hospital to have my second baby and was heavier when I was discharged. I was hoping for extended breastfeeding with this baby, but terrified because I gained tremendous amounts of weight while breastfeeding. As my nutritionist explained, “Unfortunately, you are one of the few women that will actually gain weight while nursing.” I wasn’t having a difficult time choosing between being fat and nourishing my baby; I just didn’t like the seemingly inevitable side effects of giving my daughter nature’s best nutrition.

I had already been made painfully aware of my inability to lose weight after my first son and recognized that much of it was due to PCOS. My self-image at this point was F-A-T-fat. And only getting fatter.

Paleo of course saved my bacon and allowed me to eat it too. My body comp has changed, but I’m still a little slow in the brain department.

The woman who said I was skinny caught me completely off-guard. I hadn’t been described as skinny in years, nor had I thought of myself that way. I weigh less now than when I got married over 8 years ago, but my brain hasn’t processed that I’m a much smaller version of myself.

And therein lies one of my biggest challenges. On my quest for optimal health, will I even recognize it when I obtain it? Am I just another woman that is unrealistically seeking to lose one more inch here, firm up a little there? Even when I have the “perfect” body (whatever that means), will I try to make it more perfect?

"More" perfect?

I still don’t view myself as skinny. However, I am happy with my body, which is a major accomplishment in itself. It’s not perfect, but it’s mine. It does amazing things for me and allows me to do amazing things for others, most specifically my husband and children.

Seeing myself properly is a work-in-progress and I am getting more adept at it everyday. I don’t dwell on my weight, but I often forget that I’m not that 200-pound woman of 2010. I have yet to embrace that I am a 129-pound woman and a good 50 inches smaller; I’m hoping that will come soon. I don’t have a goal–one of the first times in my entire life–and that continues to propel me toward a healthier body image. Perhaps in two years, I will have attained more clarity; maybe going so far as to try on the right jean size the first time.

Mistaking Science for Food

In 10th grade I was getting ready to eat lunch when my Uncle Herb asked what I was making.

Soup, I responded.

He then inquired about what kind of soup. When he saw me pull out a can of Vegetarian Vegetable, he laughed and said, “I thought you were making soup.”

I still distinctly remember thinking, “I am making soup.” Why this was so funny to him, I couldn’t understand.

Sometimes I am surprised by how ignorant I was in the past about real food. It had truly never occurred to me that soup was prepared in any way other than from a little red and white can. My mother never made soup, I’d never seen anyone else make soup, and all of the soup I enjoyed was always processed. The only difference was whether or not the lid was a pop top.

When I start to scoff at how ridiculous I was, I get humbled by one little trip to the grocery store.

Yep. Pork chops in the same case as Lunchables. As if they are equals.

Is it any wonder that I was totally and utterly clueless to the fact that there was such a thing as food quality? That there is a difference between food and science?

Assuming these two are equals, of course I would choose the convenience of a ready-made “meal” over the effort required to throw a pork chop on the grill, prepare a side, and wash dishes.

But I am lucky that I now know better. My kids will know better too. I’m sort of hoping they will be confused about how soup got in that can in the first place.

Mistaking Science for Food

In 10th grade I was getting ready to eat lunch when my Uncle Herb asked what I was making.

Soup, I responded.

He then inquired about what kind of soup. When he saw me pull out a can of Vegetarian Vegetable, he laughed and said, “I thought you were making soup.”

I still distinctly remember thinking, “I am making soup.” Why this was so funny to him, I couldn’t understand.

Sometimes I am surprised by how ignorant I was in the past about real food. It had truly never occurred to me that soup was prepared in any way other than from a little red and white can. My mother never made soup, I’d never seen anyone else make soup, and all of the soup I enjoyed was always processed. The only difference was whether or not the lid was a pop top.

When I start to scoff at how ridiculous I was, I get humbled by one little trip to the grocery store.

Yep. Pork chops in the same case as Lunchables. As if they are equals.

Is it any wonder that I was totally and utterly clueless to the fact that there was such a thing as food quality? That there is a difference between food and science?

Assuming these two are equals, of course I would choose the convenience of a ready-made “meal” over the effort required to throw a pork chop on the grill, prepare a side, and wash dishes.

But I am lucky that I now know better. My kids will know better too. I’m sort of hoping they will be confused about how soup got in that can in the first place.

How Paleo Ruined Pecan Pie

Pecan Pie of Death. Sometimes it's just not worth it.

First, video killed the radio star. Now Paleo killed the pecan pie. It’s a cruel world.

Last spring, I made a pecan pie for the husband’s birthday. It was delicious. We enjoyed a piece (or three) and sent the rest off with friends. We secretly hoped they would not want to take it with them and watched forlornly as that little foil-wrapped slice of heaven left our home.

At the same time I made an extra pie crust “just in case.” And by creating a “just in case” scenario, I ensured a second pie would be made. I didn’t want any of that flour around the house and the crust keeps well in the freezer for a few months, so what the heck. A little splurge is good for mental sanity, right?

Two months later, I made a second pecan pie. I don’t know what if it was the gluten, the corn syrup, the sugar, or some weird combination, but regrets were immediate.

My husband, who lives for pecan pie, puked his guts out for an entire day. I didn’t fall violently ill, but my nausea kicked in the next morning. We threw out our siren of desserts and haven’t looked back.

It could most certainly have been food poisoning, but once you eat Paleo, it seems like there’s a real tendency to believe every time you feel bad after eating, it’s because of the type of food, not because of any lurking bacteria. Whatever the reason, pecan pie is no longer on the list of Splurges That Are Worth It. That’s kind of sad for me.

I love pecan pie. I love that Texans love pecan pie. I love everything about pecan pie because it fills me with happy memories. Or at least it used to. Now I can feel my stomach contents rising just by the thought of indulging.

I received a text from my sister-in-law this week: One thing Paleo did not change is my love for Taco Bell. However, it did change me feeling it’s worth the price I physically pay. Last bite. Instant nausea.

It’s like losing a best friend (which may indicate that I need some new friends). Whether it’s pecan pie or Taco Bell, it’s sad to lose your family favorites in the quest for better health. Worth it, yes. But it still sort of sucks. And I’m sorry, but those Paleo substitutes of a pecan stuffed inside a date just ain’t cutting it. Of course, they’re not making me pay homage to the porcelain god so they’ve got that going for them.

Did Diet Cause My PCOS? Does It Matter?

I have food issues. It’s true.

While I believe my relationship with food is generally healthy (now), it’s still a work in progress.

I think about food way too much: what I’m putting into my body, why I’m putting it into my body, how each food makes me feel after I eat it, how meat makes me gag but my body craves it like nobody’s business, what I’m going to eat at my next meal, what my kids are going to eat, how much time I will need to allocate for food prep, what I’m going to do if we happen to be spontaneous and need something to bring for my bottomless pits I affectionately call my children.

Okay, perhaps my relationship is not as healthy as I would like to think. But it’s getting there, and it’s getting easier.

I have a long history of disordered eating. Food has not been very good to me, and in turn, I have not been very good to myself.

A recent email from a reader reminded me of this history. Paleo is much easier for me now, but it hasn’t always been.

[A] reason that I stopped Paleo for a while is because I started blaming myself for PCOS. Seriously. I got it in my head that my eating caused my PCOS. I would look at every morsel of food and worry so much that every little ounce would cause me to ruin my fertility. I kind of got obsessive and had to stop.

And you know what I say to this reader? Good for her for stopping. Sure, Paleo is likely going to bring her better physical health, but there comes a point where you have to put a stop to the crazy and revamp yourself.

I’ve gone through this phase. Several times.

I would never have all these problems and wouldn’t have passed on all of these health issues to my two innocent children if I hadn’t eaten all those _____ (fill in the blank; if it’s unhealthy and not illegal, I’m sure I ate it).

Is it true? Would I have been PCOS-free my entire life had I been on a strict Paleo diet from the beginning?

Maybe, maybe not. Who’s to know? Besides the nutritional problems of modern society, there are a whole host of other environmental factors that are out there beating up our bodies in several ways: stress, overworking, the sedentary lifestyle that is a true challenge to avoid, chemicals in our food/plastics/medicines/vaccinations/cleaning products/everything, food industry practices, the endless glow of electricity that messes up our internal clocks, etc etc etc etc etc.

Oh, and genetics. That’s sort of a big deal too.

And while I would love to know the why of PCOS, it’s so speculative right now. Some think it is solely diet; some believe it is purely genetic; some believe it is genetic and triggered by lifestyle factors; some don’t care and just want to pump as much Metformin in you as possible.

Chris Kresser recently posted a fantastic article that re-opened my eyes to the possibility that I didn’t cause my own disease (and even if I did, let’s put our energies elsewhere). In Reframing the obesity debate: cause/effect, genetics & robot clones, Kresser reminds us that “it’s essential to separate the causes and treatment of obesity.”

He goes on to say:

We know without a doubt that statins lower cholesterol. But does that mean high cholesterol is caused by a statin deficiency? If you break your arm, your doctor will probably put a cast on to help it heal. Does that mean we should all wear casts on our arms to make sure they don’t break?

I love this. Just because Paleo alleviates my PCOS symptoms does not implicate the Standard American Diet as the sole cause of my disease in the first place.

So did I cause my PCOS? Perhaps. And perhaps not. Right now all of the causes are unclear. I suppose all I can worry myself about right now is treating it. Which I am when I’m able to step back for a moment and stop blaming myself.

Primal Blueprint 30 Day Challenge

About every month or two, I start reading a different Primal/Paleo/Ancestral Health blog. Despite how much good stuff is out there, I just don’t have time for more than one blog a day, so I cycle through several different ones, falling into routines that generally last a few weeks before I’m ready for a change.

How fortuitous that I was drawn back to Mark Sisson’s stuff on Friday. I love his site for a million reasons, not least of which includes how comprehensive Mark’s Daily Apple is. He’s pretty much my go-to on anything I need help understanding.

The Primal Blueprint 30-Day Challenge starts today. It includes a plan for eating, fitness, sleep, sun, and play. The flier offers a much better explanation than I can:

Of course all areas are important–eating, fitness, sleep, sun, and play–but the real reason I’m pumped for this is because I’ve been looking for some motivation to get better sleep. Or any sleep for that matter.

My sleep patterns don’t resemble a pattern at all right now. My son is receiving therapy three hours away from our home (in a different time zone), so we’ve spent a lot of time on the road and out of our beds. The baby isn’t sleeping as well as normal, which means I’m sleeping even less well. At the end of the day, I’m too tired to go to bed, which seems utterly ridiculous. Instead of sleeping, I usually end up on the couch in a mental battle between my desire to go to sleep and my unwillingness to stand up and brush my teeth. Somehow, that turns into watching reruns of Arrested Development on Netflix.

10 pm is not my finest hour.

I’ll be working on all areas (I’m in the middle of a Whole30), but sleep is my main focus. Just the kick in the pants I need, and not a minute too soon.

And perhaps I’ll even tackle a few of the Mini Challenges, though squatting to poop probably isn’t going to be the first one I try…