Paleo v. World (Part 1)

Paleo v. World got pretty ugly while I was away.

Following the progressive drama feels a lot like the Holyfield-Tyson fight from the 1997. You know, the one where Tyson bit off his ear.

I’m sure I’m not the only one who remembers this, but for those of you younger readers, here’s a little background:

Evander was a serious underdog, but totally clocked Tyson in the first match.

The rematch left more uncertainty for bookies and gamblers alike. Holyfield again dominated. So Mike fought dirty, biting off a part of his left ear, then biting the right, and continuing his rampage before/after being disqualified and escorted out.

Paleo is its own brand of underdog. It doesn’t get a lot of respect. There’s not much positive media attention, government backing, or big corporate sponsorships.

One thing it does have, however, is The Big Mo. Momentum.

It continues to win, despite suggestions from the mainstream that its success rate is one in a million, if that. And story after story shows one contributing factor to its grassroots success: IT WORKS.

So the Tysons of the government, media, and medical communities are fighting dirty, trying to discredit Paleo followers as fanatical, cult-like, brainwashed, uneducated buffoons who will drop dead at any minute because of the extra dietary fat present in their food choices (like avocado, coconut, and animal meat).

Hardly.

The nay-sayers are welcome to bite off both my ears if that means I can stay Paleo and not flirt with the other presented options. Even if research suggested that Paleo would kill me in 24 hours (it won’t) and living solely on wheat would keep me living a life of unbridled energy and health (it won’t), I couldn’t possibly believe it.

I’ve witnessed firsthand otherwise. In myself, my husband, my son, my daughter, my mother, my father, my mother-in-law, my friends. Not to mention the other amazing testimonials the blogging community offers up on a daily basis.

Later this week, I’m excited to offer my two cents on the Best Diets report, along with some thoughts on Dr. Cordain’s and Robb Wolf’s rebuttals and the not-unfavorable Paleo spot in yahoo! news. This fight is getting good and I love that I’ve got a front-row seat.

The Paleo Diet (Plus History) in Pictures

Pictures speak to me. Allow this picture to speak to you. I’m thinking of printing out 100,000 of these, placing them in a big black roller suitcase, and visiting all of the doctors’ offices I can find. Masquerade as a pharmaceutical salesperson to get my foot in the door. It could work.

On a more serious note, much of this science and further research on my part is what ultimately led me to understand the vital importance of getting myself and my whole family (children included) on a Paleo lifestyle. I can’t guarantee my kiddos will continue once they are adults, but I certainly don’t want my Littles to be part of the 4% of preschoolers that are clinically depressed (toward the end of the infographic). I love what Paleo can fo for not just physical, but mental, emotional, and spiritual health as well.

(I originally found this on Melissa ‘Melicious’ Joulwan’s blog–a big fave around here. She got this Paleo Infographic from The Paleolithic Diet)

Learn more about the Paleo Diet.

Paleo PCOS Success Story

I love me a good success story. Danielle was featured on Robb Wolf’s Real-Life Testimonial series and how she told PCOS where it could stick it. Way to go, woman!

Read Danielle’s story here.

2011 PCOS Symposium

June 12, 9:30 am

Are you going? If you are in the Houston area, I would love to meet you there. I attended last year, and despite the awkwardness of being great with child, it was a valuable experience.

I have a healthy dose of skepticism knowing one of the speakers also happens to be the spokesperson for Insulite Laboratories (one of the Symposium sponsors). Any company that says, “There is no magic pill to cure PCOS. It takes a complete system” and then proceeds to sell you that system in 4 convenient formulas generally requires extensive research before diving in. Nevertheless, I am quite excited to attend again this year. I believe there will be some amazing opportunities to connect with other women who get it and make me feel just a little less crazy.

PCOS doesn’t have to be a death sentence and it’s good to be with other women who know that (or are looking to find out). So if you are going, REGISTER HERE and let me know you’re all signed up so I can keep my eyes peeled for ya.

Paleo Mistakes 101: Cheat Meals

Here’s a little secret I learned from Weight Watchers: You simply cannot cheat your body.

I didn’t learn this because of the nutritional guidelines in my weekly pamphlets; I learned this because I was starving. So starving that I found myself cutting up grapes into miniscule pieces, trying to fit as many as possible into a 1/2 cup serving without going over my 23 points.

All the while, a wave of shame would wash over me. Just because I didn’t have to report extra points didn’t mean my body didn’t recognize those two extra grapes. The body reacts to every tiny piece of food we do (or don’t) put in it. It is one of the few things in this world that you have to be 100% honest with. There’s no fooling it.

But, like I said, I was starving. I’m not famous for making good choices when I’m starving.

The bad choices didn’t end at the grapes. I was in a sad mental state for a very long time. Even now, I wince when I think about it because I never want to revisit that place again. Eating in the pantry or in the closet so no one will spot my bad food choices; paying with cash at a fast food drive-thru so I don’t have to face my love of French fries on my next bank statement; being embarrassed that like any human being, I love an unhealthy dessert every now and again.

Whether it was cramming extra fruit into a measuring cup or bingeing on Papa John’s pizza, it was a cheat meal and the mental repercussions were always the same. Berating and belittling myself for my lack of self-control, giving up and accepting that my body would always be ugly, swearing that I wasn’t a total loser and trying yet another diet, and starting the process all over again. Unfortunately, with an ever-lengthening list of dietary failures, I was in even worse (mental) shape than the time before.

Nowadays, I don’t do cheat meals.

I am most certainly not a Paleo Puritan; I go off-course every now and then (more than I ought to during birthday season). But instead of cheat meals, our home has splurges. While this may seem to be just a simple matter of semantics, they are really quite different.

Cheating, by definition, involves deception and fraud, generally eluding an appropriate consequence. It’s dishonest, and it doesn’t feel good to lie.

A splurge is an indulgence. Allowing yourself to follow your desire. Purposeful permissiveness.

The difference is huge.

For my mental sanity, I don’t see a problem with the occasional indulgence. When I take care of my body, occasional translates to allowing an off-Paleo meal or treat once every week or two.

Because these splurges are rare, they have to be worth it. There are a number of ways that I decide if something is worth it. If the answer to any of these questions is YES, than it most certainly is NOT worth it:

Am I motivated to eat out because:

• I haven’t gone grocery shopping?
• I don’t want to cook?
• I didn’t create a meal plan this week?

If I can pass this initial screening, I go a little bit more in-depth*:

• Is this going to make me so sick that I will curse myself 30 minutes later?
• Do I actually want to eat this or am I just hungry?
• Is it worth halting my current progress for this meal?
• Will I regret this tomorrow?
• Is this only going to be moderately delicious?

And because I am not only a visual person, but also a forgetful one, I sometimes consult my master list.

Worth It	Not Worth It
Lupe Tortilla fajitas Swedish Fish Coco’s Crepes Buttered popcorn Brazilian rice and beans Hello Panda Sweet German pretzel (Naegelin’s) Hi-Chews Tea Cup Café’s Coconut Smoothie with Tapioca Pearls Araya Chocolates Crave cupcakes Bever’s Kitchen	Chex Mix Oreos Caramel tidbits Skittles Starburst Hamburger buns Crackers M&Ms Wafers Most Mexican restaurants Fast food Pop-Tarts Corn on the cob Soy milk Coconut milk ice cream (whole pint) Anything in Wal-Mart’s bakery Free samples at Costco Lara Bars as snacks Jerky with sugar in it Hershey’s Wheat Thins Triscuits Pretzels Yao Ooh-La-La cupcakes Tropicana orange juice Box cake Wonder bread

This works most of the time. If after this mental interrogation, I still want a slice of pecan pie (yes) and I’m willing to pay the consequences (yes), then I guiltlessly eat until I’m satisfied.

When I’m still a little foggy or not doing so hot on keeping myself honest, Whole9 is my go-to site for practical Paleo living. Their Guide to Nutritional Off-Roading is an awesome pdf to help walk you through the mental aspects of splurging, while their Eating Dirty Part 1 and Part 2 posts serve as informational reminders about how to, well, eat dirty.

(The Lazy Caveman also has a nice little read along the same lines — Life After 30…Days)

And when I start having trouble with following these guidelines, that’s when I know it’s time to reset my body and go through another Whole30.

Eating Paleo isn’t about being on a diet and cheating on your diet. It’s about making good food choices.

—–

* These are not friendly questions for someone struggling with an eating disorder. I no longer struggle with an eating disorder, so it keeps me on-track, but could be a hindrance for someone else. I could never have asked these questions 10 years ago without spiraling downward. Know your limits.

Paleo…Forever?

Whenever a friend or family member gives serious consideration to a Paleo lifestyle, the question is always the same:

Do I have to do this forever?

Well, yes and no. My general answer is “Give it a good, solid, committed 30 days and see how you feel after that.”

The thing about Paleo is that once you start, it’s really hard to go back to the old way of eating–at least, in good conscience. Once you realize your food choices matter to your body–that grains are poking holes in your gut lining, that added sugars and chemicals are essentially poison, that nutrient-dense vegetables supply enough fiber, vitamins, and minerals to make you thrive–there is a level of guilt when you forsake what you know is making you healthier for the fleeting pleasure of fettucini alfredo and sugar cookies every night.

Ignorance is bliss (and autoimmunity, in my case).

I’ve been on a lot of diets, and not once have I felt as if I were choosing illness over life when I stopped. Probably a tribute to their unsustainability. They were diets in the pop culture sense–a weight loss mechanism with the sole purpose of getting me into a smaller jean size, whether it was at the expense of my overall health was of little importance.

Paleo is a diet in the definitive sense–the food you eat. A healthful diet, a poor diet–diet is just a reflection of food selection. The Paleo diet is a way of life that focuses on making sound food choices in order to have optimal health. Because it helps a person bring their body back to good, it’s sustainable.

So is there a light at the end of the tunnel? I suppose that depends on what kind of light you’re talking about.

If you enjoy the benefits of sustained health (which is my kind of light), putting the work in now is a whole lot easier than putting in the work later. And by work now, I mean giving up some comfort foods, repairing an emotional relationship with food, cutting up your vegetables, cooking nearly every day, going grocery shopping, and having a meal plan. In essence, being intentional about what you put in your body.

By work later, I mean all of those repeated doctor visits, the constant fatigue/aches/pains/ailments, the ridiculous amount of cholesterol/blood pressure/glucose lowering medicines, the depression and unhappiness, and of course, the crash dieting. The light at the end of the tunnel that takes you straight to the pearly gates.

Either way, the work will come. It’s just a matter of when you want to do it and what kind of light you want to live with.

Still didn’t answer your question? Well how about this.

Am I going to eat this way forever? Yep, I sure am.

Is it ever okay to NOT eat Paleo? From a physical health standpoint, probably not. From a mental health standpoint, probably so.

I see nothing wrong with breaking the rules every once in a while and indulging in something I love. If I am eating clean, exercising well, and sleeping, I’ve probably earned a little flexibility and won’t feel guilty when I savor a slice of homemade cheesecake. Not even a little bit.

Next post, I’ll share my experience on how to decide when it’s time to go off track a bit and when it’s obvious it’s time to hit reset. I’ll also offer up some great resources from others who are excellent adherents, but still enjoy their cupcake every now and again. Stay tuned…

National Infertility Awareness Week

This week is National Infertility Awareness Week. I’m mixed about it. Having struggled with infertility myself, awareness was at the forefront of my mind, but certainly not in the campaign kind of way. I felt like I had a huge, blinking neon sign that read “Infertile. Diseased. Barren. Failure.” I felt like everyone knew how dysfunctional my body was and judged me for it; they were aware of my inadequacies as a woman, and I didn’t want any part of it. I just wanted to bury myself in an unmarked grave.

On the other hand, other women need that awareness and the subsequent support system. For the community as a whole, the devastating effects of infertility on a family are nothing to scoff at and there is great value in raising awareness. So in conjunction with National Infertility Awareness Week, here is my humble submission. I wrote this piece nearly three years ago when I was 38 weeks pregnant with our son. Even with two children it still hurts to visit these dark days and to reflect on my own battle with infertility, but it has shaped who I am and something I choose not to run away from.

—–

Mother’s Day was an interesting experience this past Sunday. For the last few years, Mother’s Day has been more of a day of sorrow than celebration. I spent those Sundays grieving and did not want to attend church. Listening to the talks seemed pointless because it would “never apply to me,” regardless of what Sheri L. Dew said.

I shed much fewer tears this Mother’s Day as we anticipate the birth of our baby boy in 24 days. In fact, I was at odds with myself, experiencing two paradoxical emotions. I rejoiced in the impending moment when we will be blessed with a child, but I still found myself grieving. I know there are women in my congregation that cannot have children and their pain is still very real to me. There have been a dozen or so pregnancies in our ward in the last few months. If I were not one of them, would I be able to delight in everyone’s happiness? Hearing of my dear friends’ pregnancies left me crying tears of joy and self-pity simultaneously. Even the success stories about how someone tried for so long and eventually conceived were far from comforting. For every success story, the bitter part of me seemed to open my eyes to the handful that still could not have children (or worse, the many that are having children but refuse to take care of the lives they bring into the world). I searched the scriptures for comfort and found 4 women who were barren (Sarah, Rachel, Hannah, and Elisabeth). All 4 women were eventually blessed with prophet sons, but I didn’t want to wait until I was 90-years-old before I could finally have my Isaac. I wasn’t asking for a prophet. I just wanted a regular kid. On my worst days, I was angry with myself and with my body’s inadequacies, as if I were purposefully holding Patrick back from experiencing the challenges of parenthood. I could be a martyr, but why did I have to get married and take someone down that path with me? Irrational? Yes. But I have never been one to think rationally when I mourn.

Raising children is a righteous desire. President Monson mentioned at the Worldwide Leadership Conference that if a person remains righteous, that desire will not go away.

The constant gnawing feeling at your heart is a gap that cannot be filled with material things. Often, spiritual things only temper it, never fully healing you. The limbo that accompanies hope–should I wait and see if this works or should I move on with my career–is agonizing. The derisive thoughts–what is my purpose here if I cannot raise a family–only contribute to the torture, and the guilt from entertaining such thoughts is overpowering at times. The despair felt in finally giving up because it hurts too much to continue hoping is unbearable.

We are truly in the Lord’s hands. Despite my dark moments when I was unwilling to receive comfort and companionship, He still found ways to quietly assist me without my knowledge. Will every infertile couple conceive? Unfortunately, no. I am grateful to be numbered in those that are blessed with pregnancy and thank God daily for His mercy.

Healthy Kids Family Fun Day

It's Fun to Stay at the

Our local YMCA held a “Healthy Kids Family Fun Day” this Saturday. When attending these events, I generally anticipate the healthy part to be more in line with the food guide pyramid and less in line with Paleo. I’m okay with that. I believe my children need to be aware of the conventional wisdom, even if I think it’s wrong.

I was disappointed to discover the main sponsors at this Healthy Kids Family Fun Day were Chick Fil-A, Wendy’s, and a soon-to-open Italian Ice place. I’m a little old-school and believe if we want to teach children about health, it would be nice if the sponsors were, well, healthy.

My children will know what healthy looks like, but most children will not. When they hear they are going to a Healthy Kids Family Fun Day and only see fast food restaurants, they are being inundated with subliminal messages that these are healthy options. Or at least acceptable ones.

When I pass the vendors to head toward the fire truck, a Wendy dress-up character tries to tie an advertising balloon on my son’s wrist while a free sample giver tries to convince me that I am doing wrong by my children if I don’t let them enjoy a glass of lemonade.

It’s healthy! It’s sugar-free. We only use agave and brown sugar.

(Um, still sugar, and still not healthy)

My children don’t eat perfectly every single day. But when we choose to splurge, it is most certainly not on sub-par carnival food. It will be on food we enjoy eating, not food we eat just because it’s free.

The event as an event was a success. In addition to the petting zoo, bouncy houses, and tractor rides, what child doesn’t enjoy regular intervals of free juice boxes, lollipops, ice-cream, and promises of chicken nuggets if they just bring in a coupon with their mommy?

But as a day of health? Fail. Naturally, I understand someone has to pay for these free events. They are expensive to put on and most certainly provide a service to the community. The YMCA is an asset for many areas, including mine. But if they can’t get healthy sponsors, then can we at least take out the Healthy Kids part and stick with just a simple Family Fun Day? Because it was, indeed, quite fun.

—–

In other updates, my son woke up this morning asking for white cake. White cake? Since when does he know about white cake?

I opened the fridge and he wanted the cauliflower on the vegetable tray. I’m so proud.

(Truth be told, we will actually be having white cake this week for my husband’s birthday…but then it’s right back to business)

Positive Paleo Media

I found this article in my Spam folder of all places.

It’s a totally favorable article written by Barbara Bates on FitDay about the Paleo lifestyle. I get over-the-moon giddy when a non-caveman (or woman, in this instance) does not implicate all Paleo followers as nut jobs.

My favorite statements:
Is the Paleo diet for everyone? I believe it is an excellent place to begin and expand from on an individual basis.

Awesome. Thanks for giving us a chance!

There is no doubt that the food we eat has an affect on our health.

Actually, a lot of people doubt this, so THANK YOU for being so bold about it.

The eating and lifestyle habits of our healthy ancestors provide us with a good framework; it is up to us to study their ways, evaluate the benefits or drawbacks and experiment on an individual basis in order to determine what is best for each person.

Amen to that. She puts the responsibility back on the individual to research healthy eating and then determine how our bodies respond to certain foods.

—–

And in case you missed the sweet Nightline piece on March 1 about Paleo (with Robb Wolf), here it is. Have I ever mentioned I love Robb Wolf? Because I do.

Red (Meat) Badge of Courage

After the first week of my most recent Paleo cycle, I happened upon a devastating revelation. Eggs + Me ≠ Compatible

I cried for two days.

Lest you mistake me for a melodramatic teenager, allow me to explain.

Devastating Reason #1.
The incredible (in)edible egg is the only fast protein source. With two little ones (one of whom requires more attention than your typical child), fast is the only way to go if I want to actually eat during the day. Unless I resort to processed and grain-based convenience foods (I won’t), I usually have to choose between cooking my meals and actually eating them. Speed is crucial to my survival.

Devastating Reason #2.
I can’t cook. I do cook, just not extraordinarily well. And especially meat. I sometimes amaze myself with how thoroughly I can ruin a decent cut of beef (not that I would even know what a decent cut of beef was…). The thought of every meal being a tremendous failure is not terribly motivating.

Devastating Reason #3.
I hate meat. Gasp! Many Paleo followers wear their meat-tearing canine teeth like a medal of honor. In my most pity-party days, I award myself the Red Meat Badge of Courage. I don’t like the taste, I gag at the smell of raw meat, I have such an aversion to touching it raw that my husband generally cuts it all up for me the night before, and I have more texture and psychological issues than I care to acknowledge. A life without meat suits me very well. Except for the whole “I get really really sick without it” fact.

While the majority of people struggle with Paleo because of the need to eliminate favorite foods, my biggest struggle has been the addition of meat. Eggs were my cheerleader. The protein source that secretly whispered, “You can do this. Just two meals a day. I will be with you for the third.” But in my time of greatest need, they too have deserted me. Autoimmune issues and egg intolerance seems to be pretty synonymous, but I was hoping to be the exception to the rule. I’m not. PCOS is so stupid.

I can tolerate fish fairly well, but between Deepwater Horizon blowing up in the middle of the Gulf last April and Japan’s nuclear plants pumping Chernobyl into the Pacific, I’m kind of running out of ocean. Which leaves me with beef, pork, poultry, game. No eggs.

So while I’m not a melodramatic teenager, I do get tired of sucking it up every day. Eggs, come back to me. Or at the very least, send me an equally quick substitute that leaves me with zero texture issues. Too much to ask?

Read Your Labels: Tuna Edition

Ingredients: Light tuna, water, vegetable broth, salt

Safe enough, no?

Allergy warning: Contains tuna, soybeans

Evidently, listing allergens (such as soy) in the ingredients of a product is unnecessary. Who really reads those things anyway?

Chapter 5: The News

The fifth chapter in my continuing PCOS story. Find all published posts here.

Telling the family was a lot of fun.

“Mom and Dad. I have a health condition. I have no idea what it is. The doctors don’t seem to know much, but they say it’s really common. Like diabetes or high cholesterol. I’m not dying and will be fine. But I can’t have babies.”

My dad silently melted down.
My mom clamorously melted down.
My brothers. Well, they’re brothers.

We were now the subject of family pity. My side was heartbroken. Aside from the fact that we were possibly looking at a very serious medical condition, they knew out of all of us, I was the one who wanted children the most. My brothers already had seven kids between the two of them. They were done having children. I guess that makes three of us.

Husband’s side was also heartbroken. Their grandchild count was at zero.

My sister-in-law struggled with her own infertility and was an immense source of comfort. I can only imagine our news propelled her into another grieving cycle of her own, though I’m not sure as I’ve never asked. Now there was strength in numbers. I didn’t want to be part of those numbers, though. Neither did she.

—–

Read chapter 6 here

20 Girls in 30 Days

My current training is beyond lame. I don’t feel that bad about it since I’m still having a hard time finding my 2-kid groove, but a part of me wants to actually move heavy things that do not consist of car seats, groceries, and crying children.

Solution: 20 Girls in 30 Days.

My husband and I are embarking on this challenge to complete CrossFit’s Girl WODs. In any order I choose, I will take on Barbara, Helen, Fran, and the remaining 17 other lovely ladies. Here’s looking at you, Eva!

This is not an April Fool’s joke (but I kind of wish it was). My training needs this, but oh, how I may regret my decision after starting down Angie in the face. 100 push-ups? Really? My max is 4. And that’s to say nothing of the inordinate amount of pull-ups in these WODs.

Realistically, my 30 days is likely to extend to right around 60-70 days. I’m still waking up at night to nurse my baby and am just not getting enough sleep yet. And thankfully for my sleepy self, recovery is just as highly valued as the exercise itself. However, my Happy Goal would be to complete them before my 29th birthday (50 days).

I also know I need to stay Paleo for this and not have another binge week. During my Binge Week, my IT band pain and left shoulder pain returned. Once I was on Paleo, they mysteriously disappeared again. Spooky.

So wish me luck. I’m off to conquer Angie. Or maybe she’ll conquer me.

Binge Week

All cakes should look like this. Then maybe I'd stop being tricked into eating them.

Five weeks into our Paleo challenge, I realized I was only going seven weeks just to say I could. Eating Paleo is all about making good food choices. After thirty days, my body feels cleansed of any poisons and I can start making rational decisions about my food again rather than trying to binge on every unhealthy snack in the clearance aisle of the supermarket. Typically, thirty days resets my cravings and gets me back on track.

That is, when I don’t listen to other people.

Unfortunately, when eating Paleo I often hear how crazy I am for doing it. So after hearing how crazy I am for the last 7.5 months, the idea started to grow.

Am I crazy for eating like this?
Are my symptoms really better or is it a placebo effect?
Am I giving up “something important” by giving up grains, etc.?
Am I experiencing a nutritional deficiency?
Is moderation a better idea? Just a little bread here, a scoop of peanut butter there…everyday.
Did I just lose the weight because the baby weight was ready to come off, like some people are telling me?
Is this just some unsustainable fad diet?

So we went off Paleo for a week and ate like regular people (except I still stayed away from dairy for the baby’s gastrointestinal comfort).

Guess what happened?

We got sick. All four of us. And I mean sick. Sick as in, we had to give up our annual camping trip because my son had a hacking cough. My baby girl who is content to play on her own wanted to be held constantly. My allergies returned and I was running a 102.7º fever that made me stay in bed for 20 hours straight doing nothing but wishing I was dead. Sick as in we all caught a viral infection and are also on amoxicillin for strep throat.

Being sick means that the baby, who started sleeping through the night for one week, is most assuredly not sleeping through the night right now. Being sick means instead of going on our field trip to see the Final Four teams, we are staying home to recover. Being sick means lots of whining and crying and aches and pains and general ickiness. Oh yes, and my non-existent allergies are back. Yay.

During Binge Week, I snapped at my children and nagged my husband (more than normal). I cried a lot from being overwhelmed with everything going on and was depressed about who-knows-what. It was a busy time for us indeed (just moved), but we’re not strangers to busy. And besides, being busy is not an excuse for acting heinously toward your family. In essence, I felt all PCOS-y again.

And to add insult to injury, I gained 3 pounds during Binge Week. Not. Worth. It.

Maybe I’m crazy for eating Paleo. But I say, better crazy than wishing I was dead.

The Day of Reckoning

Old Navy Sweetheart Jeans

Photo Courtesy

Seven weeks ago, I embarked on a strict seven-week Paleo challenge. I did not stay as strict as I originally intended (it was an intentional decision–more on this in the next post), but I certainly saw marked improvement.

All my progress is due to diet. Despite my desire, I hardly trained during this seven weeks due to a number of factors, the main one being that my baby is waking up several times a night because of teething. I generally tend to choose sleep over exercise, so the met-cons fell by the wayside.

(I can’t upload my photos for some reason, but they will be posted when my computer cooperates)

Now, let’s get to the good stuff. The results:

Measurement Summary

	February 5	March 26	Change
Weight	140 lbs	134 lbs	-6 lbs
Waist	35.25″	35″	-0.25″
Hips	38″	37″	-1.0″
Bust	36”	35.75”	-0.25”
L Thigh	23″	22.5″	-0.5″
R Thigh	23.5″	23″	-0.5″
L Arm	11.5″	11.5″	—
R Arm	11.5″	11.5″	—
L Calf	14.75″	14″	-0.75″
R Calf	14.75″	14.25″	-0.5″
Neck	12.5″	12.5″	—
Jean Size	6	1	-5

Total Weight Loss: 6 pounds

Total Inches Lost: 3.75″

Not too shabby, if I do say so myself.

The most significant change I saw was not in my weight but in my jean size. I started at a loose-fitting size 6 in Old Navy Sweetheart jeans (boot cut, classic rise). Size 4 was still too tight, but the 6s were definitely on their way out.

I went back to Old Navy on Saturday and fit into their size 1 Sweetheart jeans quite easily. I was able to pull a pair of size 0 on with a whole lot of dancing and jumping, but there is no way I was buttoning them.

Do I actually consider myself a size 1? Nope. Not at all. I understand that a size 1 today is not the same size 1 from several years ago. However, the number is not really the point. I don’t care if my jeans say size 1 or size 21 as long as that size is going down. And it’s going down. 5 sizes!

Additional benefits were gains in overall strength. Who knew I would get stronger without doing any training? My push-ups went from 0 to 4. I also managed to lower myself down slowly from the pull-up bar. Before this challenge, I would jump and try to slow myself down with all my might, but there was certainly no evidence that I was actually trying to hold myself up.

All in all, I’d say this was a successful seven weeks.

I Don’t Have Food Allergies

The only cupcake I gobble up with any sort of regularity

I don’t drink alcohol, coffee, or tea because of religious conviction. When I’m at a restaurant or a social function where alcohol, coffee, or tea is offered, I refuse, generally mentioning I’m pregnant or nursing instead of saying I choose not to drink.

It’s much easier.

And cowardly.

I find the same frustration with eating, whether it’s in a restaurant, with friends, or with family members. My nursing daughter has a dairy intolerance and technically I can’t eat dairy if I’m concerned about her intestinal comfort. However, that’s not the real reason I don’t eat dairy. Dairy is out of my diet because it’s bad for my body.

Likewise, I don’t refrain from bread or cereal or black beans or gourmet cupcakes because I’m allergic. I do so because they do bad things to my body, too.

I suppose I don’t want to deal with the backlash. Everyone has an opinion, the most adamant generally opposing my viewpoints, citing examples of their sister-in-law’s best friend’s daughter who took her kid off milk and is now the shortest kid in the class.

It’s exhausting to always be bad cop.

I’m not out proselytizing for more Paleo converts; I’m meeting a basic human need for nourishment. Paleo just happens to be how I choose to do that. Most of the time, I don’t even want to talk about it because goodness knows the only people listening are those who have tried everything else and are desperate.

But it’s dishonest to pretend I am allergic. Food allergies seem to elicit strange sympathies, as if our family is missing out on one of life’s greatest treasures. Cheese is downright heavenly at times, but not something I mourn when the sinuses start acting up, the stomachache commences, and the baby writhes in pain. And each time I use the “I’m allergic” cop out, I feel a slight twinge of guilt.

Our lifestyle isn’t embarrassing or shameful; just unconventional. So my conscience wins this battle. After nearly 8 months of Paleo, I am finally ready to accept it wholeheartedly as just another aspect of who I am. I’m not going to talk about my lifestyle apologetically. I’m not going to say I have a wheat allergy or a soy intolerance or whatever watered-down excuse I can think up to avoid telling the real reason. I’m not going to

However, I will still play the allergy card so my order is accurate at a restaurant. And as compensation, I will tip generously.

—–

PS (I will NOT bring up Paleo unless you probe for specifics on how I lost so much weigh or why my PCOS symptoms magically disappeared. I will also NOT criticize your food choices)

Chapter 4: The Second Grieving

The fourth chapter in my continuing PCOS story. Find all published posts here.

Once the initial shock was over, we scoured Google and were greeted by unpleasant news.

PCOS Symptoms:

• Nausea
• Fatigue
• Body hair
• Facial hair
• Acne
• Oily skin
• Male pattern baldness
• Skin tags
• Depression and mood swings
• Cysts
• Few or absent menstrual periods
• Repeated miscarriage
• Infertility

Greater risk of:

• Diabetes
• Heart attack
• Cardiovascular disease
• Endometrial Cancer
• High blood pressure
• High cholesterol
• Sleep apnea
• Breast cancer
• Anxiety
• Depression

The second grieving had begun. I didn’t want this. I wanted to look like a woman, to feel like a woman. To do womanly things, to raise womanly daughters. There was nothing womanly about PCOS. All of the symptoms would be fodder for the next stupid MTV movie. The girl with the beard, the bald girl, the fatter-than-fat girl, the pimple girl, the crazy girl. I was a circus freak.

Or at least I would be soon.

I just lost all hope of being a mother. Would this disease steal my gender, too?

I never wanted to have a period so badly in my entire life. Because then at least there would be some evidence that I was, indeed, a woman.

—–

Read chapter 5 here.

The Elephant in the Room: Part 2

At the PCOS Symposium in June, the elephant in the room was my pregnant belly.

Four months later I attended The Paleolithic Solution Seminar presented by Robb Wolf. This time the elephant in the room wasn’t my pregnant belly. It was me. As in, I was one of the biggest people in the room.

Sigh. Now that I’ve started running with a Paleo crowd of CrossFit trainers, I can hardly blend in like I did with the overweight women of PCOS. I wasn’t looking forward to going because despite dropping 20 pounds, I knew I was going to feel huge. And I did. But hey, if anyone needs to be at a nutrition seminar, it’s probably the elephant in the room. And in my desire to feel better about my appearance, I made sure I didn’t wear tennis shoes with jeans. Or Vibrams, for that matter.

I was mildly starstruck upon arrival. Here were three of my favorite blogebrities: Robb Wolf, his wife Nicki Violetti, and Erwan Le Corre. The likes of these folks changed my life. To see them in person in such an informal setting, talking to me like we were friends was rather surreal, especially considering my last encounter with a blogebrity, where I mistakenly spoke of exploding wombs (I’m still blushing with embarrassment).

Starstruck (Robb, not me)

Erwan doted on my baby, which is quite possibly the highest compliment someone can pay to a mother, and she soaked it up in delight. Nicki shared with me some interesting insight about opening up a CrossFit gym. Robb gave me tailored advice about helping my mom who suffers from diabetes. And of course, they let me nurse my 4-month-old exclusively-breastfed-baby-who-refuses-to-take-a-bottle at the all-day event without even blinking an eye. They are big proponents of breastfeeding.

The thing I love about the Paleo movement is the very real community present in even their biggest names. It’s still growing and it feels like a circle of friends; not just a bunch of people who just met in a gym that morning to talk about why we don’t eat grains, legumes, or dairy.

Perhaps it’s because we are all in the business of saving lives. We understand the damage we unknowingly did to our bodies and don’t want anyone else to make those same mistakes. We want to help those who are suffering find a way out of their misery. We don’t like where the next generation is headed, with their shorter life spans and processed junk food and childhood obesity stealing their youth.

It’s a mission and I’m glad to be part of it. Even if I am the elephant in the room.

The elephant with the gazelles. Not bad company to keep.

The Elephant in the Room: Part 1

7 months pregnant

This summer, I attended the first annual PCOS Symposium here in Houston. I am lucky to have a knowledgeable and highly-regarded PCOS doctor who is working to make the disease a higher priority in the current medical dialogue.

The common plight of women with PCOS includes rapid weight gain, extreme difficulty losing weight, insulin resistance, excessive body/facial hair growth, male pattern baldness, and an increased risk of major diseases and cancers affecting our vital organs.

It is an extraordinarily unfeminine autoimmune issue that adds insult to injury since it is usually discovered during periods of infertility, another side effect. Though truth be told, I haven’t encountered any autoimmune diseases that are particularly feminine. However, as a female, I still like the option of feeling like one.

I debated back and forth about whether or not to attend. On one hand, PCOS has been the silent driving force behind many of my decisions for the last 4 years. Gaining as much knowledge as possible was key to saving my life.

On the other hand, I was pregnant. And not just a little pregnant. Six-days-past-my-due-date pregnant.

As a woman who once could not conceive, I have not forgotten the pain. The great majority of women attending the symposium, if not all of them, have struggled with infertility in one form or another. In fact, it’s likely that many of them are still childless.

A woman great with child walking into a room of infertile women is akin to a 105-lb supermodel walking into a Weight Watchers convention. Classless. Or so it felt.

And yet, who will advocate for my health if not me? So I went.

I was fearful of the comments: “What are you doing here–you’re already pregnant.” “You don’t understand–you have children.” And worst of all: “How did you get pregnant?”

Many of these women are looking for a magic pill that will transform them from a barren wasteland to fertile ground. Every story of a successful in-vitro fertilization procedure or artificial insemination or Clomid treatment is hope. Painfully sad, and yet still filled with a longing sense that “maybe it will work for me too.”

However, I didn’t take a magic pill. I changed my diet and then went the prayer, fasting, and miracle route (as related here).

I arrived early and took a seat at the very back in order to draw as little attention to myself as possible, especially since I would be making frequent trips to the restroom.

At the conference, my bulging belly was the elephant in the room, something no one really wanted to address but it was so glaringly obvious; a source of discomfort and pain and sadness for many in the room. And to make an uncomfortable situation even worse, at 200 pounds and 9+ months pregnant, I was still one of the skinniest women in attendance.

A woman sat next to me and asked how it happened. I told her. Shortly thereafter, she ran out of the room crying. Her friend informed me she’s been unsuccessfully trying to conceive for 4 years. And here I was, flaunting my second child for all to see.

At lunch I was bombarded by women, all hopeful that I would provide the missing link. All walked away with the too-familiar look of heartbreak and devastation. They were happy for me, but they would much rather be me.

I wish I could go back to that conference and tell them everything they’ve ever been taught about nutrition is wrong. That their adherence to their doctors’ advice is only compounding the problem. That they can get off the Metformin if they get off the grains, legumes, dairy, and sugar first. That they can eat a piece of fruit before and after 2 pm without gaining weight. That they can eat more than 1200 calories. That they can stop shaving their faces everyday and hiding their hair loss and waking up with overwhelming nausea and fatigue. That they can be vibrant, sexy, strong.

I can’t go back to that same conference with those same women. But I can hope they find a new lifestyle, whether it is through this blog or Whole30 or Robb Wolf or something else. And then maybe they can be the elephant in the room.

—–

* Photos taken by Justin Hackworth, genius and friend

Chapter 3: The Grieving

The third chapter in my continuing PCOS story. Find all published posts here.

Photo Courtesy

How was the world not mourning?

Two hours ago I was a woman filled with hope. My future was perfect.

Now I had no future.

Husband arrived home and we cried together. Or rather, I cried and he was stoic as usual, wishing he could cry.

The colors were so vibrant and so grey, all at once. Our red couch was in color; we were in color. Everything else was grayscale, like some distorted Hallmark card made especially for women who lose their purpose in life.

“Our condolences in your time of sorrow”

Or whatever those meaningless cards say.

The world was all wrong.

—–

Read chapter 4 here